The first episode of any Bachelor season is always a parade of nonsense, every contestant trying to make, if not good, then memorable first impressions on the season’s eligible single. Monday night’s Season 29 premiere was no different, with the women vying for the affection of Bachelor Grant Ellis making it clear that they’ll stop at nothing to get his attention in a spectacle somewhere between a gladiator match and an elementary show-and-tell presentation. When in doubt, bring in your llama.
No, really, there’s a llama. Said llama, named Linda, of course, belongs to Alexe, a Canadian pediatric speech therapist and early front-runner—more on that in a minute. When Alexe arrives at the Bachelor mansion, Linda clopping along sedately behind her, she explains that her childhood on a farm gave her a lifelong affection for animals. “Is that a donkey?” Grant asks incorrectly. Alexe says Linda is her “no-drama llama,” which she hopes, in vain, will save this season from the usual wailing and tears. Unlikely.