- Michelle B. Dallocchio left the US in 2019 and moved first to London and later Italy.
- Dallocchio, an Iraq War veteran, said she felt increasingly unsafe in the US.
- She said moving to Europe was the best decision for her family and she has no regrets.
This as-told-to essay is based onconversations with Michelle B.Dallocchio, an Iraq War veteran of Pacific Islander heritage who left the US for Europe. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I served in the US Army from 1998 to 2006, including a year in the Iraq War. I served out of love for the country, but I don't view the US through rose-colored glasses.
Right before the 2016 election, a car followed me as I drove home from work to my Las Vegas neighborhood. All of a sudden, he started honking and losing it.
He rolled down the window, and started screaming at me. He threatened me and made racial remarks about deporting me. This experience was a turning point for me.
After that as a licensed gun holder, I started carrying a gun — a Glock 17 — in my bag every day.
I had already been on edge, and I thought to myself, "I can't do this anymore. This is bananas."
My husband and I had a long talk, and I told him: "This is not the future I want for my kids."
From the US to Europe via LA
I didn't have a good feeling about the way things were headed in the US.
When Trump won the presidential election in 2016, we agreed to move abroad, though my mind was made up months before the results were in.
We couldn't leave the US straight away, so we relocated to Los Angeles in August 2018. We thought if my husband, who works in hospitality, got experience working in a major city, it would improve his chances of finding work at an international hotel. My husband is Italian, which made going to Europe an option.
He received multiple offers within months of relocating, but the most solid and sensible offer came in 2019 to work at the Westin in London.
That summer, we finally got word that we could relocate to the UK.
My husband's employer helped us through all the corresponding residency paperwork, particularly for my daughter and me. This was pre-official Brexit and being married to an EU citizen helped at the time.
Very quickly, I found a sense of security in London that had become elusive back home. As English is my first language, it wasn't difficult to adjust to life in London.
Every place has its problems. You'll deal with crime and safety issues wherever you go. But I felt a lot less endangered in the UK.
There are stricter firearms laws in the UK. It's illegal to carry a weapon there. I felt there was less tolerance for anti-social behavior in public. There are higher rates of violent crimes in the US.
Moving abroad has its challenges
There are other challenges associated with a long-distance international move.
We were fortunate that my husband's new employer at the time provided relocation assistance to cover part of the moving costs, which would have been quite expensive out-of-pocket.
M.B. Dallocchio first moved to LA, then to the UK, and eventually settled in Italy.
Courtesy of M.B. Dallocchio
In 2022, we moved to Florence, Italy, where I encountered some overt racism. People in Italy would openly stare at me and I felt like an exotic animal in a zoo.
This year, we moved to Milan, and things are better in a big city. I can now get by in conversational Italian unless the Milanese dialect takes the conversation light-years away from my grasp.
Moving to Europe has propelled my husband's career in amazing directions. He now manages four hotels.
As an artist and author, living in the UK and Italy has added to my artistic vision.
Moving back to the US is a hard no
Ultimately, I have no regrets about moving abroad.
I really miss the national parks in the US and seeing my friends for a gossip over brunch. But, I don't miss the problems that made my life so difficult, whether it was racism or overpriced healthcare.
The 2024 election was the nail in the coffin for us going back to the US. It's a hard no for I don't know how long, and I've accepted that.
Watching Trump's victory from afar was difficult because it's a country I once fought for. Now, it feels like progress is unraveling.
As the results came in, people I care about started reaching out, saying, "We need to go." I've spent the last few days looking up options for people.
Michelle Dallocchio has no regrets about moving abroad.
Courtesy of M.B. Dallocchio
My first piece of advice is always to check if you qualify for another citizenship.
Countries like Italy and Portugal allow citizenship by descent. I ask my friends, "How close is that ancestry, and how realistic is it for you to relocate based on it? Can you get another passport?"
If that's not so possible, I suggest considering digital nomad visas or, depending on your vocation, looking for other job opportunities overseas.
For us, moving abroad and ending up in Italy was the right move.