The theft of priceless French crown jewels from the Louvre turns out not to have been the most brazen, outrageous heist attempted this week. That honor goes instead to the president of the United States, who has confirmed he is considering instructing the Department of Justice to pay him $230 million dollars in compensation for its (wholly legal and completely justifiable) investigations into him, Russia and the mishandling of national secrets.
Experts have called the fact that President Trump is even considering seeking the monies given his current role a “travesty.” One group, the non-profit advocacy organization and government watchdog Public Citizen, asserted that “this wannabe dictator is drunk on power and no amount of money will ever be enough to satisfy him.”

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