Trump Tries to Get on God’s Good Side After Week of Blasphemy

President Donald Trump is throwing himself back into religion, after he was pilloried from all angles for a stint of overt blasphemy.

The 79-year-old has, in the past, flaunted his Christian chops by hawking $60 Bibles on the campaign trail and by declaring the Good Book his favorite tome—while struggling to cite a single passage. However, his credentials suffered earlier this month when he made the ungodly decision to depict himself as Jesus Christ in an AI-generated image.

He then embarked on a public spat with none other than the leader of the Catholic Church. With his standing amongst followers of Christ potentially in the mud, his PR goons have come up with a cunning plan.

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