Trump Tries to Distract Base From Epstein Disaster With Mexican Coke

President Trump seems to think that a sugar rush is all he needs to head off the civil war engulfing his base over the Jeffrey Epstein debacle.

Days after he longingly wondered what was going on with his “‘boys’ and, in some cases, ‘gals,‘” the long-time Diet Coke aficionado announced on Wednesday that Coca-Cola had agreed to use real sugar in its drinks made within the U.S.

“I have been speaking to Coca-Cola about using REAL Cane Sugar in Coke in the United States, and they have agreed to do so,” Trump wrote in a Truth Social post Wednesday. “I’d like to thank all of those in authority at Coca-Cola. This will be a very good move by them — You’ll see. It’s just better!”

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