- During the first weeks of junior year, I asked if I could graduate that year.
- My school counselor said it was possible but that she thought I'd regret it later in life.
- It's been 29 years since I graduated, and I haven't regretted it once.
There are many decisions I made growing up that I now regret, like the short haircut I got in the fourth grade that was supposed to look like Princess Diana's, pegging my jeans so tight at the ankles that it almost cut off circulation to my feet, and my first kiss with a nice guy who should definitely have stayed in the friend zone.
But I don't regret my decision to graduate a year early from high school. And now my daughter is following my steps.
Teachers told me I would regret my decision
A week into my junior year, I walked into the counselor's office of my public high school in California, took a deep breath, and asked if I could graduate that year.
She asked why I wanted to do that, and I said I was tired of it all. I was ready to get on with the rest of my life and make decisions for myself instead of just what others expected me to do.
The counselor nodded as she began typing information into her computer. "It's possible," she conceded. She then said that most people regretted that choice and expressed how they wished they had had a traditional high school experience.
Despite this warning, she helped me make a plan. I already had some extra credits on my transcript, and if I took a few classes at the local community college, I could have my diploma before the next school year started. The only catch was that I couldn't walk in the graduation ceremony since I wouldn't have all my credits by June.
It was disappointing to think that the moment I always envisioned marking the end of high school would look very different. But that was overshadowed by the promise of not having to return to high school again. I left the counselor's office feeling excited and hopeful.
Then, I spoke to the director of my jazz band class, where I played the piano. Due to the rigors of my new schedule, I needed to switch to an elective that wouldn't consume so much time outside school. He also said that I'd regret it.
I considered his words. This man had never bothered to learn my real name — Joy — but instead called me Jill, Julie, Happy, Poppy, and even as he dispensed a dose of big life advice, Joyce. He knew nothing about my actual life outside the jazz band. So, I wondered if his opinion even mattered.
I nodded to show I understood but stuck to my plan.
I have no regrets
Many other people echoed the band director's words of warning. It turned out all of them were wrong. I finished high school at the end of July and started college a week after I turned 17.
I didn't regret my choice when extra midterms and finals stressed me out, nor did I regret having to wake up early every weekday in the summer to get to classes at the community college. I still didn't regret not being invited to the class reunions.
In fact, I haven't regretted it once in the 29 years since my graduation. It was the first time I discovered I didn't have to give everyone a say in the direction my life would go. That was the most valuable gift I could have given myself on the cusp of adulthood.
Five years ago, my daughter Skyler decided to graduate from high school early. My husband would be retiring from the military halfway through her senior year, which required moving from our overseas duty station to the US. Although her decision made so much sense — she didn't want to be the new kid halfway through senior year — she received the same dire warnings about regret.
Not from me, though. I looked at this young woman who I knew to be kind, intelligent, and driven. She would still make mistakes, of course, and regret some decisions. But this wouldn't be one of them. So I just told her, "You've got this."