- After hosting a party for my son, we were overwhelmed by the birthday presents he received.
- Unwrapping numerous presents led to chaos and seemed to diminish his appreciation for each gift.
- Now, I always gift cash. I know the kids can use it to buy something they are sure to like.
When my older son turned 5 last year, we invited his whole class to his birthday party. We hosted a rowdy group of 30 kids disappearing down ball pits, whizzing down slides, and climbing padded ladders for two hours. It was definitely some kind of carnage. The other kind of carnage we experienced later that day was going through the birthday presents he received — nearly 40, by the time you included those from family.
We suffered from a severe case of present fatigue. That's when I decided I would never buy birthday presents for kids' parties again.
Unwrapping presents is pure chaos
Tearing off the brightly colored wrapping paper and watching my son's eyes light up as each gift was revealed was a joy, for all of five minutes. About three presents in, it ended up being more of a chore than fun, especially for my husband and I. My son wanted to play immediately with the ones he liked, forgetting about the still very large unopened pile. Keeping the enthusiastically written cards with their rightful gift to be able to thank the correct child later on quickly became a losing game, too. Throw a 1-year-old sibling in the mix of a discarded wrapping paper tornado, and it was a total recipe for disaster.
We decided to make the call to unwrap the remaining presents over the next few days rather than keep going, as it felt like we were force feeding our son and sucking the happiness out of the occasion. As each gift opening session went on, present overload firmly set in. Each one felt less special than the one before, like a chore we had to get through. There were many that my son would realistically not use, like craft kits which he showed little interest in. We ended up regifting some and stashing some away in his cupboard to take out at a later date so they would feel new, but even now, a year later, many still feel forgotten.
Parents spend good money on gifts
I feel bad for the parents who spent their hard-earned money on gifts that have received such little gratitude and appreciation. I want my son to appreciate the time and effort that may have gone into the gifts he receives, but I also know that many of them were likely hastily picked up at a drug store or regifted after it was rejected by their own child.
I'm also not comfortable with the message that receiving so many presents sends. It has wired into my son's brain that in order to have a successful birthday, you must receive a mountain of gifts, regardless of what they are or whether you even want some of them. It reinforces the overconsumption I believe Western society is struggling with, where we equate more stuff with how happy we are.
Money is always a good choice
Don't get me wrong, I do love giving my kids presents, and receiving them myself, too. Fewer, thoughtful ones rather than something someone picked out last minute while running other errands is always something that is going to be meaningful to me.
Turning up at a kids' birthday party with an impressive looking gift that's difficult to carry and towers over the other packages on the gift table can be seen by some as a statement of generosity. Admittedly, I do sometimes feel outdone when we show up with an envelope bearing cash, but I do urge my son to write his own personal message in the card.
I sometimes wonder if some view the gift as lazy or last minute, but I hope that the parents are secretly relieved that there's one less present for their child to open and eventually discard. After the party, many send me a message to say what their child wants to spend it on. To be honest, I wouldn't even mind if the parents pocketed it themselves. They deserve it for all the effort they've put into not just the party, but successfully raising their child.
This year, for my son's 6th birthday, we opted for a simpler affair, inviting three friends to our home for an afternoon of games, pizza making, and ice cream sundae topping. Three presents felt much more special and manageable. For a second, my husband and I thought we should reconsider our stance on giving cash, but when the next party came, we headed straight to the ATM. Giving cash rather than a gift is empowering and liberating, for both the giver and the receiver.
The post I never buy birthday presents for kids' parties. They often miss the mark and unwrapping them is chaos, so I give money instead. appeared first on Business Insider