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When it comes to discreet sex toys, everyone has their own set of metrics for what constitutes a discreet vibrator—but they’re almost always boxes to check on size, sound, and design. For some folks, the best discreet vibrator is one that looks like it could moonlight as a beauty blender or a JBL speaker (see: this male masturbator); for others, the discretion might have nothing to do with an incognito design, and everything to do with whether or not it sounds like they’re powering up a jet ski when they push that “On” button.
If you’re new to buying sex toys, start by asking yourself what kind of pleasure you’re looking for. Are you seeking clitoral stimulation? Partner play? Are you curious about taking a toy on your upcoming White Lotus-inspired spring vacation? Whether you’re a seasoned sex toy user or completely new to the arena, I have rounded up a selection of the best discreet vibrators for every aesthetic and budget.
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