- I met my partner in an airport lounge; he lives in Europe, while I live in the US.
- For the past three years, we have developed a long-distance relationship via texts and video calls.
- We see each other in person as much as we can, but it isn't easy, so we're looking to the future.
When I struck up a conversation with a private pilot in an airline lounge at my home airport, I never imagined that we'd end up embarking on a long-distance relationship.
But now, almost three years later, my Belgian boyfriend and I are more in love than ever. We're exploring scenarios for being together full-time when our young-adult children are a bit older. In the meantime, we have to be content with infrequent visits and technology to see us through the long stretches.
It's admittedly not easy, but absolutely worth it.
Most of the time, we stay connected via text
We both frequently travel, and WhatsApp has been a godsend. During the early days of our courtship, we'd send short text messages and accompanying photos from our trips. Once we started dating, those text messages became longer and more romantic.
We're able to text one another even when he's in the cockpit 40,000 feet above the ocean — which never ceases to amaze me.
Eventually, we began sending each other voice messages. When he's not flying and home in Belgium (I'm based on the East Coast), it's a six-hour time change. Each evening, I record a voice message for him to listen to when he wakes up, and he can reciprocate with one for me.
Each morning after my alarm goes off, I set my phone on my pillow to hear his endearing accent right next to my ear. Sometimes our soliloquies focus on how much we miss each other and long to be together; other times, they recount what we've done since our last call a few hours before.
Video calls bring us closer together
Of course, we also sync up several times a day through video calls, which are the most satisfying method of communication, but also occasionally the most frustrating.
The time change means that we're each always in a different mindset. When I'm getting ready to start the workday, it's mid-afternoon in Europe; during my lunch break, he's cooking dinner, and after I finish work, he may be out for dinner or drinks with friends, or too tired.
The author and her partner try to see each other in person as often as they can.
Courtesy of Kelly Magyarics
Sometimes when I'm ready to call, he's in the middle of something, or vice versa. And when we're both traveling, our routine is completely upended. But we have to just brush it off, not take it personally, and arrange for another opportunity to connect.
Since our mutual screen time is so precious, we've established strict rules about not calling each other when we're distracted by meal prep, grocery shopping, or exercise. Instead, we talk from a quiet room when we can focus all our attention on one another.
Though it works for some couples, we don't engage in long-distance intimacy because our in-person physical connection is so soulfully satisfying that anything virtual is a mere shadow of the real thing.
We try to meet in person as often as we can
Our visits are either sporadic or clustered, depending mainly on his travel schedule (and sometimes on mine). We meet up during one of his layovers, or he'll fly to me. I've also visited him in Belgium a handful of times. The longest stretch apart has been three months, which has happened twice; this year, we resolved to be more proactive about preventing that extended separation.
Though missed connections can be maddening, and the lengthy time apart can temporarily chip away at our bond, our buckets are refilled the instant we see one another again.
Long-distance love isn't for the faint of heart, but we constantly remind ourselves that this is only temporary. We're in it for the long game.
The post I'm an American in a long-distance relationship with a European for nearly 3 years. Here's how we make it work. appeared first on Business Insider
