It’s 2026, and no one has just one job anymore. We’re all micro-influencers, personal assistants, self-caregivers, and rideshare drivers who resell feet pictures on the internet so we can afford groceries. And in that very small way, we all have something in common with Secretary of State Marco Rubio.
Did I say Secretary of State? I meant Secretary of State, acting national security advisor, former acting administrator of USAID, former acting archivist of the United States, substitute Press Secretary, occasional wedding DJ, and Interim Chief of the Federal Department of Active Consular Command.
OK I made that last one up, but I give it two weeks before it’s on his Wikipedia page. It still sounds better than the Shield of the Americas, right?
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